


Unfaithful

by junakabisque



Category: Alice Nine
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-10
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 06:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1594649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junakabisque/pseuds/junakabisque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What will you do when love only brings you pain? Where will you run to when shadow of doubts threatens to overwhelm you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to my dear co-author, Mizuki a.k.a. vampirekiki, for helping me during Writer’s Block XD

  
**Chapter 01**   


 

Almost midnight found Saga in Tora’s bathroom; the shorthaired bassist was bending over the sink, splashing some water onto his face. He couldn’t sleep, although the blond guitarist had already fallen asleep in their shared bed in Tora’s flat. The said man wasn’t aware of Saga quietly climbing down the bed and disappeared into the jointed bathroom. He was exhausted when they came home together from work nearly an hour ago. His mood wasn’t good either, certainly because of exhaustion; he snapped Saga’s hand away when the bassist wanted to help him take off his jacket.

Being Tora’s lover for almost six years now, Saga understood the blond guitarist could be so moody when he was exhausted. He only shook his head as Tora walked ahead and entered their bedroom. When the bassist followed, he then found out the taller blond man was already sprawled on his stomach, his breathing steady. Saga arrived beside the bed, examining his lover for a moment, before he knelt down and carefully took Tora’s socks off, not wanting to wake up the man.

Feeling tired himself, Saga was tempted to ditch a shower tonight and just joined Tora instead. He had not been getting enough sleep recently, since they announced their new releases. Therefore, he got rid of his clothing and changed into his pyjamas, lying down beside Tora after that. He turned to face the sleeping guitarist, extended his arm out to caress the blonde’s cheek, whispering, “Good night, Tora.”

However, sleep never claimed him. No matter how tight he had shut his eyes. Unwanted thoughts were flooding his mind instead. Thoughts about him and Tora, about their relationship. They had been just fine until recently, the older guitarist had started getting angry with him for reasons unknown. Saga didn’t understand. He couldn’t figure out why Tora was behaving oddly these days. He hadn’t found a good timing to talk about it with the older man either.

Next thing he knew, the bassist was already heading to the bathroom; and he stayed up until daybreak, returning to bed only to feign a sleep. Tora needed not to know that he didn’t get any sleep tonight.

***

“Tora will come with me,” stated the vocalist cheerfully.

Saga looked up at the music sheets he was working on, staring at Shou in bewilderment. “Where to?” He asked.

“To today’s event! Originally, manager-san wanted me to go alone, but I remember Tora likes this RPG game as well. So he’ll be going with me to the event,” the vocalist elaborated.

The bassist’s mouth shaped a silent ‘oh’, before he turned to face the blond guitarist, “You never told me about it.”

“It wasn’t planned!” Tora laughed, clearly amused by the reaction he got from his lover, “Maybe I’ll come home late tonight. You can ask Hiroto to give you a ride.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t want to bother Hiroto,” the bassist refused the idea considerably.

Just then, the man in question returned to the studio. He was out for coffee break earlier. Tora stood up and approached his fellow guitarist.

“Hiroto, can you drive Saga home tonight? I can’t,” asked the taller man.  
“Sure, why not?”  
“That’s not necessary, Tora. I can just take the train,” the bassist stood up as well.

Hiroto stood in the middle of the room, awkwardly witnessing the silent conversation that the bassist seemed to be having with his lover. They were staring into each other’s eyes for a good few seconds, until Tora darted his gaze away and strode towards the sofa. He seated himself back on the sofa and put his guitar on his lap, no longer caring about the ride.

The smaller guitarist noticed Saga closing his eyes and looking exhausted, before the said bassist headed towards the door. He opened it, just in time when Nao was about to come in.

“Saga? Where are you going?” asked the drummer, confused.

Saga didn’t reply, walking past Nao without saying a word; leaving the other members of Alice Nine puzzled.

“What’s going on?”

The drummer directed the question to the other three, but none of them could answer.

~*~

Saga ran off to the rooftop. He felt guilty for leaving his band mates in confusion, but he just couldn’t face Tora any longer. He couldn’t stand being dismissed like this by none other than his lover. He couldn’t stand the thought of staying behind with his oblivious band mates and acted normal before them, either.

He wanted to find some answers, he wanted to find a solution; but the empty space before him told him nothing.

The bassist heaved a long deep sigh. The knots between his eyebrows clearly told that the young man was still troubled. However, he swept aside his anger and disappointment, grasping onto the bright side instead. Maybe he did something that disappointed his lover. That could be the reason why Tora behaved oddly these days.

Stepping away from the railing he had been leaning onto, the brunette made a mental note that he should better apologise to the guitarist later. It was better than causing an unnecessary fight.

~*~

After the event, Shou invited the guitarist for a night out. Tora, who wasn’t someone to turn down invitations and liquors, agreed to go almost instantly.

“It’s just for relaxation,” the vocalist stated as they left the building together. Next, they got into Shou’s car and headed to a bar nearby.

Soon, they arrived at their destination. They got in and settled themselves down at the far corner of the bar; getting as far away from the peering eyes of the other customers as possible. The two men were now sitting together on a bench with a little gap between them, each nursing a glass of liquor. Music was playing in the background; and thankfully, the music being played that night was slow and smoothing instead of noisy and loud. For a while, the two musicians simply sat side by side, slowly sipping their drink quietly.

Tora was not in the mood for a small talk. Therefore, when Shou tried a few times to open a conversation, the response he’d gotten from the blond guitarist was nothing but some absent-minded nods and one-word answer. 

Nevertheless, if Tora thought the vocalist would be discouraged by his display of disinterest, he was wrong.

“What’s in your mind?” Finally, Shou brought down his glass, turning his upper body to face his taller friend fully, and asked.

Tora raised an eyebrow at his friend’s direction, still refusing to answer.

“Tell me, what’s bothering you?” The vocalist questioned again, not backing down.

There was still hardly a response from the guitarist.

“Hey~ Tiger? I am talking to you!”  
“I know you are,” the blond man replied dryly, “but I’m only choosing to ignore you.”

Tora had half-expected Shou to be pissed by his reply; but instead, the vocalist just laughed it off with a shrug. He didn’t even seem to bother to be offended.

At that moment, Tora felt he really did enjoy this night out with Shou. The way Shou talked to him, how he reacted to his remarks in such a carefree, easy way. It was so different from when he spent time with Saga. Recently, whenever they spent time together as a couple—away from their band mates—Tora would always feel...pressured. It felt like Saga would get upset at the tiniest of things; it felt like nothing he did could please his brown-haired lover, whereas he didn’t even know what he had done wrong. 

Once again, he averted his gaze to the glass in hand, deep in thoughts.

They hadn’t always been like this. Things hadn’t always been so tensed and stressful between them, once. Since when did love relationship have to be unpleasant? Tora couldn’t even pinpoint what had exactly gone wrong, and the confusion and helplessness was eating at him…

Saga wasn’t the only one being upset; Tora felt as frustrated as the brunette did. However, it was something that his lover had failed to see.

He sighed. What had Saga been expecting from him, actually? He wanted to have other things in his life aside from his lover. Was it really so unacceptable? Perhaps it was enough for Saga. It had once been enough for him; _once_. Things had changed. Now, he wanted more.

“Maybe it’s all a mistake,” Tora suddenly burst out.  
“What is a mistake?” Shou asked.

“I—” This time, the guitarist tried to answer his friend’s question, only to find himself struggling with words, “I...don’t know.” 

What did he want to admit as a mistake? His relationship with Saga? The fact that said relationship had been dragged on for so long, when he could not even see what the point was?

The thoughts shocked him. Ending his relationship of six years? Was it really what he had been wanting, even though his conscious self tried to deny the idea?

Tora didn’t like where those thoughts were taking him. When he was fully sober, the guitarist wouldn’t even allow these thoughts to even enter his mind; so, why started now? Perhaps, he had already drunk too much...

Tora began to stand up.

“Wow, where do you think you’re going, Tiger?”

The taller man waved his hands around as he started to move away from the bench, “I was thinking, maybe I should go now—”

However, before he could straighten himself, he was suddenly being pushed back down upon his seat. His sentence was cut off by Shou’s lips pressing against his.

For a moment, Tora thought of pushing the vocalist away; but when Shou nipped at his bottom lip, asking silently for more, Tora gave in...Rather effortlessly. 

“What are you doing, Shou?” Asked the blond guitarist once their mouths parted.  
“Giving you what you want,” the vocalist replied easily.  
“What I want?” Tora almost laughed. Who was Shou to act as if he knew what Tora had in mind, especially when what the blond head truly desired wasn’t even clear to him?

“Poor Tora, being so upset; with no one to lean on.”

Perhaps, this was the problem. Everyone had more or less gotten used to him being confident. No one had ever seen him as needing someone else to lean on, to depend on. Even Saga had failed to notice his needs and weakness. Except Shou.

 

“It feels...nice,” commented Tora after a while.  
“Let’s enjoy the moment then,” the vocalist responded with a wink.

It was all in good fun. It wasn’t as if he was demanding Tora to abandon his six years old relationship and choose him over Saga or anything like that. 

Even Shou himself couldn’t tell what he was looking for by provoking Tora like this. At the back of his mind, he had a vague thought about excitement, but even this thought was quickly drowned out. 

As to Saga...what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, right?

***

It was past eleven when Saga heard the doorbell ring. He quickly rose from the sofa and half-ran to answer the door. Tora had already entered when the bassist arrived there to welcome him. The shorthaired man had a sheepish smile on his face, but seeing the fatigue on his lover’s, the smile subsided. Although he still tried to sound cheerful when he spoke, “Welcome home.”

The blond guitarist merely responded with a hum. Saga tried again, “I cooked dinner. Have you—?”

“I’ve had it with Shou earlier,” interjected the guitarist.  
“Oh…uhm, you must be tired. Want a bath? I’ll warm the water for you.”  
“There’s no need. I’ll do that myself.”  
“…Okay.”

Tora walked past Saga, leaving the bassist standing awkwardly on the hallway. The brunette was uncertain whether to follow his older lover or not. From what he saw, Tora’s mood was nowhere near good. Then, he heard the tall blonde speak, “Have you eaten dinner yourself?”

It took a few seconds for Saga to answer, “…Not yet.”

“Were you waiting for me?” Asked the guitarist again.  
“…Yeah…I thought you hadn’t had dinner, so I decided to wait,” explained the bassist.  
“You shouldn’t have,” muttered Tora before he disappeared into their shared bedroom.

Saga was almost tempted to go after the blonde. Nevertheless, he dismissed the idea and went to the kitchen instead. He approached the round dining table placed at the centre of the kitchen, aware that he was losing his appetite even when his own cooking had been served nicely on the table. He wanted just to dump the meals into the rubbish bin, but Tora would find out and he would get scolded. Saga didn’t want that to happen. So instead, he wrapped the meals and put them in a refrigerator. Perhaps, Tora would still want to eat them for breakfast tomorrow morning.

The bassist reluctantly entered the bedroom he shared with Tora a while later. Many forms of apology were filling his mind; he couldn’t be sure which one to choose. He twisted open the door handle, only to find his blond-haired lover had fallen asleep on the bed. The guitarist’s blond locks were still damp, and Saga was worried that he might catch a cold in his sleep. He then turned on the heater and covered Tora’s body with the thick comforter. He bent down beside the bed to caress the guitarist’s head, “Good night, Tora.”

This had been their night routine for the past few weeks. As bitter as he might felt, Saga couldn’t entirely blame the guitarist. Tora must have his reasons. The bassist wanted to know why, but perhaps it would take some time to figure it out. For all he knew, if he rushed things, they wouldn’t turn out good. He would wait.

 

****

-TBC-


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tora…” Saga tried pushing the guitarist’s shoulders, but Tora caught his wrist again, both of them now, and moved them up above his head.

  
**Chapter 02**   


 

The soft vibration woke up the blond guitarist from his deep slumber. The man was lying on his stomach when he jolted upright as he became aware of his iPhone vibrating under his pillow. Letting out a loud groan, Tora sat up, as he blindly searched for the aforementioned device with his left hand. Once his fingers touched the rubber case, the blond man quickly grasped the iPhone and swiped the screen with his thumb.

At last, six text messages had been sent to him. All of them were from none other than his lover, Saga. Tora raised an eyebrow. Why would Saga even bother to text him when he was right in his flat now? Only after he checked the time, did the blond realise that those messages were sent to him a few hours ago. At the time, Tora must have been still in the pub, drinking with Shou. Perhaps his iPhone had lost signal then; that was why Saga’s texts for him had just been delivered now. Tora could read a bit of the messages’ content, even before he opened them. After all, those messages were all short and asking the same question: _Where are you now?_

Feeling guilty that he had made his lover worried about his whereabouts, the blonde turned to face the other spot of the bed, where Saga was supposed to sleep on. However, the bassist was nowhere to be seen. Tora touched his palm against the bed sheet. It was cold, as if it had never been used. He concluded that Saga hadn’t gone to bed at all. The guitarist’s half-awakened brain raced up, thinking about where his lover might be.

Tossing the thick comforter aside, Tora climbed down his queen-sized bed, as he put on his T-Shirt afterwards. He was about to check the jointed bathroom first, when he felt a breeze blowing his blond locks. He shifted his gaze to the balcony, which was only separated from the bedroom with a sliding door made of glass. The blond man recognised a silhouette that could only belong to one person: Saga. Careful not to make any noise, Tora strode towards the balcony. Only when he reached the said door, did the handsome man realise that Saga was sitting on one of the wooden chairs situated there. His back was facing the glass door, so Tora couldn’t see if the bassist was awake or not.

It was when he noticed a puff of smoke above the bassist’s head. A second later, he saw his lover crush the finished cigarette and dump it into the ashtray placed on the small round table between the chairs. Tora thought that the bassist would go back inside after that; but instead, Saga stayed longer on the balcony.

The sliding door was already half-opened; Tora could feel the chilly wind blowing past his shoulder. The blonde asked himself, how long had Saga been outside, away from the warm bed he should have shared with Tora? Without him realising it, the tall guitarist had stepped onto the balcony, quietly approaching his lover. He halted just behind the chair Saga was sitting on; surprised to find out that the bassist was holding Tora’s acoustic guitar in his arms, very close to his chest. Not in the way like he had been playing the instrument, but more like he had been merely hugging it for comfort. His eyes were shut, but the lids were fluttering, as if he was trying to sleep.

Tora didn’t realise that he had extended his arm out to caress the bassist’s cheek with this palm. The skin felt cold against his, but Tora hastily pulled his hand back as he heard a small gasp escaping Saga’s pink lips. The slightly shorter man opened his eyes abruptly, startled by Tora’s sudden presence near him.

“T-Tora? You startled me. What are you doing here?” Asked Saga.

The blonde couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow.

“What are _you_ doing here?” He threw the question back to his lover.

Saga seemed like he was going to answer, but then he shifted his gaze away. When he did speak, his eyes were focused on the tall building afar from theirs, “... I can’t sleep.”

Tora didn’t say anything, not like the bassist was expecting him to. Nevertheless after a while, the blonde offered his hand to Saga and said, “Come to bed with me.”

It wasn’t long before the younger man rose from his chair, taking Tora’s hand. The taller man took the acoustic guitar from his lover, carrying it in his other hand. Saga followed the love of his life in silence. Not even a word came out from the guitarist’s mouth as they went back inside, hand-in-hand.

After making sure that the glass door was locked once again, and the acoustic guitar had been put back in its safe place, Tora returned to the bed. He watched in silence as Saga turned around, back facing him, to take his T-Shirt off. The bassist usually slept with nothing but his boxers on; Tora had known it for years. Once Saga was done, he joined the blonde on the bed, tucking himself beneath the comforter. Beside him, Tora dimmed the light and readjusted his position, sinking deeper into the mattress. He didn’t expect Saga to lay a kiss on his cheek and said ‘good night’ afterwards, although the affectionate action didn’t surprise him either. What he did notice was how hesitant he had sensed the bassist had been when he kissed him.

He did nothing but caught Saga’s wrist when the younger man drew back. The bassist stared at Tora questioningly, but the blond man didn’t say anything. Chuckling softly, Saga asked, “What? Is there something on my fa—?”

He couldn’t complete his question, as he all of sudden felt a pair of lips pressed against his own. Saga froze, yet quickly regaining his composure before he responded to the kiss. Tora still didn’t let go of his small wrist; threading the fingers of his other hand with the bassist’s hair instead, whilst he nibbled on Saga’s bottom lip. He was going to deepen the kiss, when suddenly, Saga pulled back.

“You should go back to sleep. Or else, we’ll be late tomorrow,” he said with a smile.

Tora propped himself with one elbow, “I don’t really care.”

Then, he pushed Saga until the bassist’s back touched the mattress, before he started showering his lover’s neck with small kisses.

“Tora…” Saga tried pushing the guitarist’s shoulders, but Tora caught his wrist again, both of them now, and moved them up above his head.

Not wanting to ruin the mood, the bassist submitted completely to his older lover, letting him have his way with him.

 

~*~

 

Tora was asleep, safe and sound. His soft snores could be heard loud enough in Saga’s ear, as the bassist was now lying his head on the guitarist’s bare chest. The sex was great, as always. Saga’s hand flew to his neck, caressing the spot that Tora had sucked long enough to give him a hickey. He was sensitive there, and Tora knew it all too well. He would have to hide the evidence of their lovemaking session later.

However, despite the tiredness, Saga didn’t feel drowsy at all. In fact, he was still wide-awake now. Listening to Tora’s heartbeats calmed him, but not enough to make sleep claim him. Before he knew it, the bassist had carefully untangled himself from the guitarist’s loose embrace. The sleeping man only reacted by changing to a more comfortable position. Saga stood beside the bed, covering his lover’s abdomen with the comforter, before he put his T-Shirt and boxers back on, strode towards the door and left their shared bedroom.

Standing in the middle of the living room, Saga didn’t know what to do. His eyes scanned around the all too quiet spacey room, with only unsettling silence greeting him back. Even Chicken—Tora’s cat—didn’t make any sound at the corner, near an aquarium where it usually slept. His feet brought him closer to the cat, though. Squatting down, Saga patted its head affectionately for a little while, before he stood up again and went to the kitchen.

He had no idea how long it took him to brew coffee, but now he was sitting on a sofa in the living room, with a cup of coffee in his hands. His knees were drawn up, close to his chest. After taking a few sips, a chuckle escaped his lips. The bassist thought, _since when have I become insomniac?_

Images of his lover growing apart from him flashed in Saga’s mind. The fear of losing the love of his life was eating him from the inside that the bassist’s head lowered as if in defeat. His smooth cheek glistened by the single tear, which had fallen down freely, before Saga broke into quiet sobs.

 

****

-TBC-

**Author's Note:**

> Find this story also [on LiveJournal](http://junakabisque.livejournal.com/19525.html).


End file.
